Search

Ridicule my post pregnancy body [Graphic Content]

Warning- this post contains graphic imagery, please re-direct to The Little Lord’s most recent escapade as Bond if you would rather avoid! 

See Previous Post- The Transfusion of Life to understand why an emergency Cesarean was carried out.

 

The Re-birth

Birth changes women, in most cases the change is both mental and physical. The motherhood switch engages and the sudden impact of becoming a mother for the first time can be overwhelming. Your body, has endured this amazing and unbelievable feat, a new life coming into this world which you are tasked to nurture, care and protect. A mixture of emotions can emerge, but whilst some of these emotions may be hidden mentally, it is often the physical repercussions of birth that are discussed.

Recently, Giovanna Fletcher brought into sharp focus the world that we now live in, a world that unpicks the post-birth body. That shames a woman in her most vulnerable time. Giovanna was ‘bodyshamed’ soon after giving birth when she was told she still ‘had her tummy,’ and that perhaps she would participate in a fan photo when her ‘face slimmed down a bit.’ Read more here. This is just one example of ridiculing comments, unsavoury remarks and sheer ignorance.

Shift the focus

The focus zooms in on the body of a woman who has endured birth- no matter the entry into this world, be it natural or cesarean, emergency or planned. Our bodies change and we are reborn. This process should not be belittled by comparing bodies to what is seen as the fashionable norm, for goodness sake, fashion changes, and often this image is unobtainable anyway. The use of filters, airbrushing and fakery damages the mindset of everyone- women, men and children.

The reality of life is getting erased by the brushstroke of computer tinkering.

Women after birth are pressured into feeling like they need to fit into their pre-pregnancy jeans, that they need to lose weight, that they have to meet expectations that are created by computer software.

Instead, women should be encouraged to assess and navigate their new roles as mothers, to understand and convey their emotions, to fill their moments with love for their children.

Mental assessment instead of physical dissection is the goal after birth.

To love or learn to love a body changed by a process that is unbelievable. A process that creates life and opens a mother’s heart to love that she never thought was possible.

wp-1465669116647.jpg
The reality of my body after birth- 1 week postpartum

After I gave birth, by emergency cesarean, my body changed. I’m not going to lie, it was a shock and it took time to accept. I had stretch marks and scars that would forever mark my body. I had bruises that hurt, that shone bright and ugly. I had a tummy- rounded and soft. I had hair, straggled and thinning. I had eyes sunken and tired. But I had a heart bursting with love and a mind bristled with new found skills and knowledge.

The Emotional versus the Physical

The reality of birth is that you aren’t only giving birth to a new life, but this process will end with the birth of a new body too, a body re-born. Dwelling on a changed body, obsessing about size or looks is not the priority. The emotions;

  • Love
  • Confusion
  • Obsession
  • Fear
  • Happiness
  • Tearfulness
  • Anxiety
  • Admiration
  • Pride
  • Protectiveness
  • Defensiveness
  • Thankfulness

Among many many more far outweigh the physical;

  • Size
  • Appearance

Understand what is going on mentally with a woman after birth, before dissecting her appearance.

We should become a society that questions the mind before questioning the body.

The media focus on ‘perfect’ or ‘sudden weight loss’ post-pregnancy bodies, since when did a woman’s physique dictate a woman’s worth?

Women experience chemical, physiological, emotional, neurological and anatomical changes- be mindful of the woman behind the body, it should be the woman that comes first anyway.

A Mum Track Mind
Marvellous Mondays badge by Hello Archie
3 Little Buttons

34 thoughts on “Ridicule my post pregnancy body [Graphic Content]

  1. Petite Library

    A really great post. Of course you cannot be the same person after birth, it’s amazing some people can’t get their head around that! You piece the bits back together to make a new you, you’re still you, but you’ve lived, you’ve grow and created something incredible, of course that changes someone. And change is not always bad! #fortheloveofBLOG

    1. I whole heartedly agree. Luckily I’m thick skinned and I wouldn’t let hurtful comments get me down but unfortunately for some women it’s such a vulnerable time and it can have a really damaging effect. Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts today 🙂

  2. This is a great post and there are far too many opinionated people out there. Our bodies are truly remarkable and yes that does leave lasting marks…but its part of being a mum. #marvondays

    1. That’s my thoughts exactly. It sounds cliché but to be able to bring life into this world- pretty amazing and if we need to trade a few marks, it doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things 🙂 thanks for your comment

  3. Pregnancy and birth is probably the hugest change a Momma will go through and it is ridiculous to expect us to spring back from it. Some do quickly and others don’t, and of course, a c-section is major surgery! We should all be comfortable enough to have the time to process what’s happened and learn to accept our new bodies with no outside judgement. Thanks for linking up to #MarvMondays. Kaye xo

  4. alisonlonghurst

    A really well written post, drawing out the important things about ‘after birth’: the emotions and of course the woman herself. You are so right about the pressure women are under to spring back into a pre-pregnant state and this should not be a priority. Good to link up through #DreamTeam Alison x

    1. Thank you 🙂 agreed there are so many priorities to focus on and I just hope my new mummy friends out there understand that they shouldn’t feel any pressure after such a major event of child birth. Great to link up and thank you for commenting today x

  5. Such an important topic. I am sick and tired to hear about these women who lose it all and have a dream body after 4 weeks. They have nothing else to do and literally spend all day trying to shed the weight with personal trainers, surgery and other bizarre and desperate things. I hope you are ok. Your scars looked quite painful (quite she says…) but it’s for the best reason in the world. Sorry, such a cliché
    .#DreamTeam

    1. I completely agree. I think after giving birth you should focus on your baby and on your health rather than your weight. I’m completely healed and all fine- hurt like a bugger for a while though but wouldn’t change it for the world- I love a good cliché. Thanks for commenting Frenchie Mummy!

  6. Definitely a topic that isnt talked about in the right way enought. The focus as you point out, is very much on societies expectations of new mums, especially those in the spotlight to snap back into shape. But as your post points out, having a baby changes you in every way possible, the body being one of the most physically evident changes. I agree that there society shouldnt judge women by how they look after they have a child, we are all so different to start with, so shouldnt we expect that the same fact remains after a woman has a baby?.. Emily #DreamTeam

    1. That’s such a good way of thinking about it- we are all completely unique and different. That’s what makes the world interesting, so yes the focus after birth should be geared towards each individual woman without any expectations tainted by society. Really insightful comment thanks for stopping by Emily!

  7. This is a great post, you have the right state of mind Mama. And, having this out there for all the Mama’s and Mama-to-be’s is so important, there is so much to worry about, so much that matters, all of them come before how fast you loose that baby weight. #DreamTeam

    1. Thank you for your kind comments 🙂 and I agree completely with you. There are so any things to think about when you have given birth additional pressures beyond this should just be placed to one side. Great to link up!

  8. Great post and good for you! I hate to think that new mums feel such pressure to return to their pre-pregnancy body when actually the baby should be their priority. I was VERY lucky that I did snap back into shape and yet at the same time I also felt very judged that people were looking at me assuming I was dieting and exercising when infact I did nothing but lie on my couch eating Chinese take out for the first few months! I think regardless, we all feel judged and new mums especially have so much pressue! #stayclassymama

    1. Thank you- my friend has just experienced child birth and she’s giving herself a really hard time and I hope it helps her and other women in the same position. It does work both ways- I don’t feel like any woman should be judged regardless of getting into shape or not. There shouldn’t be any pressure. It should be all about the woman and what she wants not what is expected from her. Thanks for commenting today!

  9. Wow! I have never seen a picture like that and I had no idea that a Caesarean caused so much bruising. It looks like agony – and I’ve experienced childbirth! But the theme behind your post is so important. Women are so much more than our bodies. #StayClassyMama

    1. I’m not sure about other women’s c-section experiences but mine was in an emergency so everything was done in a rush and not very gently. I don’t want to be too graphic but it wasn’t pleasant. Yeh I felt I had to write it as my friend has just went through childbirth and is giving herself such a hard time over her weight and her tummy. I think if we were all a bit more open and people saw the reality of real women’s bodies after birth them the pressure wouldn’t be felt as much- instead of looking at the latest magazine splashing a celebs body bounce back. Thanks for commenting 🙂 and great to link up

  10. it has taken me ages to be ok with my body post babies. The stretch marks don’t bother me, they hare my ‘war wounds’ and wear them with pride, but the extra soft squidge and the back fat bother me. I don’t think it is always pressure from celebs or society, the reason I didn’t like my body was because of how I felt not how I looked. But I love that your post is really empowering for those that feel the pressure! x

    1. I get this. Losing weight because you want to is very different from losing weight because you think you have to due to external influences or pressure. I think every woman at one point or another would like to lose a few pounds for themselves. I do think though that in society the question, ‘can you fit into your pre-pregnancy jeans?’ Or anything of that nature is uncalled for. It is the assumption that you will now be racing to lose weight after birth that I don’t appreciate especially in those vulnerable early days. Thanks for reading and commenting 🙂

  11. I loved this post and the bravery/honesty you have written it with. We can never look or even feel like the same person once we have housed, grown and given birth to another human but I hope that we can find that we like our new self even better. It can be so hard to accept our new bodies but if we were all a bit more honest, as you have been here, then we might put less pressure on ourselves to ping back to an unachievable past body. Great post. Thanks for sharing on #fortheloveofBLOG x

    1. I really was unsure about sharing this for quite a while- a version had been sitting in my drafts for ages, so thank you for your kind comments they mean a lot. Hopefully it helps a woman out there in a vulnerable time that needs a boost 🙂 Loved linking up on #fortheloveofBlog thanks for having me x

  12. Oh bless you that looks sore!

    So much attention is placed on the physical appearance now, of women generally but especially on new mothers. Its crazy. No, you arent going to look like the same person afterwards, but you aren’t the same person, and would you want to be? It doesnt matter to your little one what you look like.
    Having had a baby myself now I am actually amazed by how some celebs look ‘normal’ so quickly. I mean, do they not have a uterus???! On a serious note, I actually feel sorry for them, they must feel so much pressure to snap back or be ridiculed by the media and people online picking them apart, I think if that was me I would also be tempted to get on the phone to the trainer and dietician,

    Good for you on being brave enough to share this and show people a more realistic birth body and I hope it wasnt as sore as it looks (although after having a C-sec myself i am thinking it probably was!) x

    #stayclassymama

    1. I love your comment, I agree if i could choose to return and be the same person, I wouldn’t want to be- as i’ve changed and evolved but all in great ways. That’s true I’m sure celebs do feel pressure to slim down etc as it’s became norm to pick people apart soon after birth, although I’m loving that some celebs are actively coming out now and saying – look I’ve had a baby this is life, enjoying my time and I’ll do things at my own pace.- I think that’s a really good example to set.

      It was sore, but I actually recovered very quickly, sometimes I do get the shivers about my scar and anything touching it but I think even nearly 8 months on my body is still doing a little healing.

      Thank you for taking the time to leave such a thoughtful comment 🙂 great to link up through #stayclassymama

  13. After my second child was born, I finally didnt care what my body liked anymore. Its built for purpose, not decoration. Thanks for sharing, its important to talk about this to counteract all the media bull #stayclassy

    1. That’s a great way to put it. Purpose not decoration- great attitude! Thanks for taking the time to comment 🙂

  14. This is beautifully written and extremely thought-provoking. In a world full of materialism and objectifying, we need more than ever to understand what an incredibly special thing it is to take the road that is parenthood, and that the physical and emotional sacrifices, especially those made by mothers, are so honourable, not shameful!

    1. Thank you Phil for taking the time to comment, I agree wholeheartedly with your views. Parenthood is such an emotional and amazing journey which should be enjoyed, any materialism or objectification at such a delicate time is crazy. That’s a lovely way to put it, an honourable physical and emotional act. Thanks for reading

  15. I completely agree, the women herself should come first. Not what her body looks like post birth. I am amazed at how much emphasis is put on ‘looks’. I mean… a little person just popped out right… that’s just amazing in itself. Good for you taking photos of your tummy post c-section. I was too frightened to even look! A fab post for the #DreamTeam. Thank you for sharing xx

    1. I know everything appears geared towards looks! My husband took that photo he was so shocked by how my body could cope with it all. I was scared to look for a good while after just everything felt quite numb there. But now I just find it amazing that my little rascal came from (in comparison) such a small scar. Thank you for commenting 🙂 xx

  16. I love everything about this post. The writing, the honesty, the raw photos, the explanation of our bodies being re-born. You are so right! Society makes us feel as if we should be back in our pre-pregnancy body, WELL I SAY fuck our pre-pregnancy body! We have a whole new body, yes there may be scars and stretch marks, but this new body carried a life inside of it, it is special and (dare I say) holy. Thank you for the inspiration and sharing with #StayClassyMama!

    1. Thank you so much. Honestly I thought long and hard before I put that photo of my stomach up- but like you- I said fuck it and just pressed publish! It really helps to hear support for this. I look at my little boy- the rascal he is, and my god everything is so worth it. I wouldn’t want my old body back. A new me and proud 🙂 thanks for your lovely comment

  17. […] It seems incredulous that the size of pregnancy bumps is even a ‘thing’ now, we have previously discussed the pressures on women post partum to lose weight and to look how they did pre-pregnancy, without the stretch marks, the scars, the bruising, both internal and external, mental and physical. [Read here] […]

  18. […] important this is, take a look at that cheeky little cherub you just gave birth too. Read my post [Here] on how I feel about the unnecessary pressures women are under after giving birth, it has a graphic […]

  19. it’s pretty brave and rather inspirational that you have posted this post! thank you!

Leave a Comment

CommentLuv badge

%d bloggers like this: