See previous Baby Crawling Saga: The Little Cruiser Lord Part I
Starring: Bond baby otherwise known as Little Spy Lord
Cameo Role: ‘M’ otherwise known as Little Mama…
And so it began, looking through the barren wasteland where shiny lumps of PVC plastic lay untouched but glistening in wet slobbery goo, the 7 month old Little Spy Lord waited. He had been given a mission, if he chose to accept, but he was unsure how he could accomplish such a daring request. The stakes were high and his baby pride had suffered a devastating set back- he so desperately wanted to be the next Bond Baby but first he needed to prove his worth.
Previously, he had tried and failed to initiate his engine. He had tried to conduct a quick repair overnight in the workshop, but he had received some dodgy parts on eBay and had to wait until his next shipment came. It took a while to dispatch so the seller would lose a star for lacklustre service- the Little Spy Lord was hard to please so he employed the services of ‘M’- (Little Mama) who obliged reluctantly, for she knew as soon as Little Spy Lord began to crawl, that daily tasks would become even more troublesome.
The Little Spy Lord progressed through his mental strategy, working out the mechanics behind the movement of crawling. He was uncertain and less confident than before. His last attempt had been dampened by his gears churning when he attempted the ‘go forward’ motion instead of ‘reverse backwards’. He had mastered going backwards but he couldn’t understand why he moved further away from his desired object, the frustration had often resulted in #babywail which alerted the masses that a spy was near, he needed ‘M’ to come up with some clever gadgets.
The living room still resembled the distance of the Sahara desert, and ‘M’ was looming on the sidelines mumbling some words of what he thought were taunts, as she could move freely and traveled epic distances- she could move across the Sahara so quickly his eyes often failed to track her motion (clever gadgetry), it must have been quicker than he could throw a baby tantrum! M’s taunts (which really were words of encouragement) rang through his ears, spurring him on to progress into Level 2 and secure permanent spy status (and quite possibly an audition for Bond Baby- milk shaken, not stirred). He couldn’t wait to get to grips with his new spy world, to explore ‘dog water bowl corner’, ‘remote control city’ and ‘mobile phone centre’. The possibilities were endless, he salivated at the thought of the forbidden items being in his grasp and entering his gob. It was a rite of passage for any spy- baby goo is coming for you!
He had spent the weekend doing an extra long download, ensuring that all maps and directional capabilities were included. He went through all possible scenarios and if he failed or got caught, he would revert back to #babywail and nobody would suspect a thing. He didn’t want to be stuck in ‘reverse’ mode forever. He had tried a number of strategies throughout the weeks, ‘baby skydive’ which included the ‘arm flap’ just wouldn’t give him the distance he required. He also tried ‘roll and squirm’ but the effort involved did not please the Little Spy Lord.
His favourite toy of the moment, the bus back door, (not the actual bus itself- go figure!) was sitting in the middle of the barren land, red and juicy and waiting to be plucked and rammed into his gob. He limbered up and initiated spy mode, could he defeat his Mission Impossible?
Conducting the Mission (or Bond Baby Audition)
He couldn’t believe it, he had accomplished his mission, and although he was slow he was successfully moving forwards. He basked in his glory, as ‘M’ cowered in the corner feeling mixed emotions of pride but also mentally initiating her own mission- to engage in some light baby proofing as soon as possible.
For the next installment- James Bond: The search for the next recruit
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