Starring: Little Mama, Little Lord
Cameo: Post Man, Neighbour
Easing herself onto the floor, surrounded by a mirage of brightly coloured and noisy plastic toys, the Little Mama continued her crusade of making the butterfly flap and sing, playing with her son- the Little Lord. It had been 2 days since she last felt hot soapy water on her skin, and at that, showers were brief and fleeting for she always had an ear listening for the Little Lord’s squawk as he lay in slumber. The Little Mama’s hair looked suspiciously shiny, but not with the healthy shimmer and glow of shampoo and don’t even mention conditioner for those days had long past (RIP hair masks), no, the shimmer was of greasy locks that had been scraped into a ballerina bun without any of the elegance and grace of a ballerina.
The Little Mama sat in her pyjamas with the mysterious stains of long forgotten carrot, loosely covered up by the large puff of her dressing gown. Well loved and worn slippers rested limply on her feet. Looking at her face, dark outlined eyes were apparent, this wasn’t the result of carefully applied eyeliner but instead it was the evidence of sleep deprivation carried out at the behest of the Little Lord. As the Little Mama entertained the Little Lord with nursery rhymes, her nasal voice was evident, the tell tale signs of hay fever or perhaps just a cold. The Little Mama considered her tasks and plans for the day ahead- could a pyjama day be possible?
Considering her attire and general state of affairs, the Little Mama considered the all important questions;
- If a pyjama day was on the cards- would it be possible that she would have visitors?
- In other words, would any other human being, apart from the Little Lord, witness the Little Mama’s less than pristine appearance?
The Little Mama contemplated the questions and decided that on the balance of probabilities and owing to her increasingly drippy nose- it could be safe to go full steam ahead with #missionpjday.
But oh how foolish she’d been, by 10am the door knocked, looking panicked, smelling suspect, appearing anything less than polished the Little Mama shuffled towards the door. A signature was required for an item, which no doubt contained an ill advised ebay bid that had been long forgotten about in the midst of mama brain and Little Lord mischief.
The post man- averting his gaze as he knew, from smell and sight, that the Little Mama had misjudged her hermit abilities for just one day. The Little Mama fumbled with the electronic pen signature, squiggling a line that didn’t resemble a single character from the alphabet.
Gesturing for the postman to leave the parcel inside the door, whilst juggling the Little Lord who found this quite amusing and had chosen this time to display his mega watt gummy smile encouraging the coos of interaction from the post man and increasing the agony for Little Mama, she was eventually able to commence the closure of the door and continue #missionpjday when a voice from her neighbour crept into her territory and trampled all over #missionpjday, it was a bust. It seemed that the Little Mama had completely misjudged her level of public undress- her inner hermit huffed.
The neighbour, of all days, required computer help. The Little Mama had previously declared that if they needed anything;
‘Just come on by.’
Well, today the neighbour obliged. The day when the house was unsavory, the Little Mama was unseemly and the Little Lord was supremely full of cheeky merriment. Catching a glimpse of herself in the mirror the Little Mama seen breakfast caught in her teeth and a new wet patch of slobber on her shoulder. Crumbs of cold, hardened toast scattered across her dressing gown, and no matter how hard she swept, the dressing gown clung to those crumbs as if they were gold. Trying to steady herself and forget her general state, the Little Mama reached for her tea cup, and swallowed a painfully cold and slightly souring mouthful- ahh yes, the forgotten tea (RIP to the forgotten tea’s of parenthood.)
Privately stinky, lazy PJ day= FAIL
Little Lord humour rating= HIGH
Little Mama smell rating= HIGH
Potential for another attempt at privately stinky, lazy PJ day= LOW until effects of previous failure wore off.
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